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How to make Love stay! 

…transiting thoughts on Venus & Pluto

“When two people meet and fall in love, there’s a sudden rush of magic. Magic is just naturally present then. We tend to feed on that gratuitous magic without striving to make any more. One day we wake up and find that the magic is gone. We hustle to get it back, but by then it’s usually too late, we’ve used it up. What we have to do is work like hell at making additional magic right from the start. It’s hard work, but if we can remember to do it, we greatly improve our chances of making love stay.”

Tom Robbins

       Love is misunderstood.  We all think we have love or we are in love or that we are not loved, but I’m afraid love is both stranger and simpler than we can imagine.  In Astrology, Venus relates to love.  She is the Archetype of beauty and the heart; our means of connecting to love.  But what is love and how can we make it stay? And what makes love run away? Astrologically speaking, I would vote for Pluto above Mars as being the culprit for scaring away the sweet nectar of love.  And lucky for us, Pluto and Mars are both having an intense palaver with love (Venus) right now. Venus is transiting towards the Dark Lord Pluto forming a conjunction and Mars is weaving gently into the mix through a trine. With Mercury still being Retrograde in Sagittarius and being sandwiched between two Eclipses, we are being stretched like gumby between two worlds–one filled with the past; the other empty, with vaporous ideas of the future. In this curious gestalt, how will we learn to make love stay.

Venus melting

Every year Venus makes her way to the part of the sky where Pluto currently resides.  Being that Pluto relates to the Underworld and Venus to Love and Beauty, the mind could naturally gravitate to the Persephone myth, and start to make associations about what this Transit is all about.  For me though, its not the most accurate description of what is occurring with this transit. The Persephone Myth seems to better apply to the transition Venus goes through every 260 days, when she slowly phases from a Morning star into an Evening star and disappears from the sky.  This transit is more like a pop quiz. It happens swiftly and it is acutely challenging. It will be exact at 9:50 am EST on Thursday, the first of December. Venus and Pluto greet us as we enter December, showing us what exactly we need to destroy and change before seeing our families again for the holidays!

Now, its important to note, that this Venus/Pluto conjunction is happening in early Capricorn (6 degrees).  Pluto has been in early Capricorn since Fall of 08’ slowly spinning its violent arms like an angry hurricane, destroying everything in its path lacking a sturdy foundation.  This includes governments, rulers, business, and money; it also includes secrets, lies, obsessions, addictions, and manipulations.  As above, so below.  Pluto in Capricorn is no joke.  It will be in this sign till the 20’s, so don’t worry. It’s all perfect!  And when any planet makes an aspect to this behemoth, we get the blackened stare of its shadow, and are faced with a challenge:  Do I change, or do I go–and by “go” I mean die (both real and metaphorically speaking). Pluto is death, but it is also transformation. So, we either change, or we go.  When the planet is Venus, who is aspecting Pluto, it is our Love and our Money that is tossed to our Demon’s–our inner Rancor–creating a potential nightmare we shouldn’t run from. We need to face the shadow of Venus.  It can be a chilling experience no doubt, but we have to go through it.  So what to expect? What to do? How to do it? We open the gates of the Heart!!!

I feel there are two main gates to the Heart.  One involving another person, the other involving only us.  Both gates are methods of experiencing love, but they can easily become unbalanced, even unhealthy if left unchecked. When a person is constantly on the search for love outside of themselves, they may find it, but it doesn’t last.  It’s because life is impermanent.  No lover, no possession, no buzz will ever sustain the feeling of love forever. It’s a problem.  All things are in flux, they are changing.  Now, the other method is strictly internal.  We find love in ourselves.  We discover what has been there all along, unchanging.  And we experience this love through our senses: the constant channels of sensory information input technology. By controlling our settings–our input–and knowing what we love, we find love within ourselves naturally.  We become complete. When the music is right, we can dance all night.  And with the heart open and light, your perfect lover will come when the time is right. But you can’t look out there, you can only search in here.  Only then will they appear!

….he isn’t the One, nor is she. You are the One.  Just believe it, and see it come true!

These contrasting gates I just described are the signs Taurus and Libra respectively.  Taurus being the Inner gate to Love, Libra the outer, relating to other beings.  Naturally, their relationship in the zodiac is a challenging one.  It is called an Inconjunct (150 degrees of separation).  It’s an aspect desperately in need of adjustment.  What needs to be adjusted? The amount of energy and time we haphazardly put into another person, while ignoring our own needs.  Obsessing and controlling every part, every set and setting in our life, hoping to ensure love will not be lost.  Hoping love will stay.  It stays alright, but only when you know where to find it when alone.

This Venus/Pluto conjunction has everything to do with the dynamics described above.  It is a deep investigation into the nature of how we go about getting love, and really, just feeling good about ourselves.  Now, you’ve probably noticed many relationships ending lately–or at least, seriously being tested.  This transit isn’t the one and only culprit, but it has lots to do with it.  Venus became an Evening star back in September, ushering in a new phase of her gorgeous cycle which began when she went retrograde in Scorpio back in the Fall of 10’.  It’s a fruition of all the trauma we experienced last fall. It is closure. Do you see a connection? Just take a moment to think about it? What happened to you last Fall, and how has that lesson matured since then? Venus. Love. Pain. Loss. Transformation. Unchanging.

There are also two beneficial aspects lending a helping hand to this “bad trip” for love. Mars and Jupiter are trining the conjunction; meaning they are both in Earth signs (Jupiter in Taurus, Mars in Virgo), forming a Grand TrineThe essence of a Grand Trine is balance and harmony.  It forms a perfect triangle. Mars is lending the courage to ignite the transformation to occur; Jupiter is lending an opportunity to expand our hearts through some kind of magical experience.  For example, if your doubting the relationship you are in right now, if something just feels off, Mars–like the good hero he is–will put the spear in your hand just as a golden door opens in front of you.  Walking through the door you discover your lover.  Instead of killing them, you use the spear like a talking stick, and speak your truth’s.  Honesty is integrity. Without it, love is doomed.  Love only flows through honest wires.  Through this type of process, the two of you will discover exactly what needs to happen.  You will learn to trust the subtle movements of the Soul (Pluto).

This Grand trine also relates to Money, our resources, and what we owe.  it’s not just about love and relationship.  Applying the same logic as above, an example could be: You are in debt big time and are constantly worried about it.  Mars will put the spear in your hand so that you can toss it straight through the credit card; Jupiter will give you the opportunity to download a mental program which gives you more faith and optimism that the Economy will finally collapse! You will no longer be so stressed and worried.  Your relationship will have transformed with money and debt!

….hey, why not?

In the end, we discover again, that we are alone–yet, never alone.  Love is a lot like energy. it cannot be created or destroyed. To think for a second you have lost love or that your heart is broken, is the same second you seperate from it.  It’s here.  Always.  And so Pluto whispers from the darkness, “How do you make love stay?” Venus, Mars, and Jupiter reply in grand trining harmony, “Love never went away!” Lesson learned, Transit solved!


Cover of
Cover of Still Life with Woodpecker


and Tom asks:

“Who knows how to make love stay?

1. Tell love you are going to Junior’s Deli on Flatbush Avenue in Brooklyn to pick up a cheesecake, and if loves stays, it can have half. It will stay.

2. Tell love you want a momento of it and obtain a lock of its hair. Burn the hair in a dime-store incense burner with yin/yang symbols on three sides. Face southwest. Talk fast over the burning hair in a convincingly exotic language. Remove the ashes of the burnt hair and use them to paint a moustache on your face. Find love. Tell it you are someone new. It will stay.

3. Wake love up in the middle of the night. Tell it the world is on fire. Dash to the bedroom window and pee out of it. Casually return to bed and assure love that everything is going to be all right. Fall asleep. Love will be there in the morning.”

Tom Robbins 

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